Did you just wake up from a 10yr nap? You’re in luck!

Did you just wake up from a 10yr nap?  You’re in luck!

coma_toast_by_lokijki-d34s6ieTo honor the fact the we all just a. finally remembered our g’damn login info; b. were just released from a Mexican prison; or c. will never never never never do peyote again… it really got us thinking.  What if we just woke up from a coma.  BUT, not just any coma… a 10 year coma!!!  How strange would the world appear to be.

Well, if that’s you then here are a few helpful tips to catch you up to speed:

  1. The Rock is now called Dewayne Johnson… and he’s an “actor”
  2. Kanye is still relevant, but now as a Kardashian with a Reality TV show
  3. MJ, Whitney Houston and Corey Haim (no, the other Corey) are all dead
  4. There is this thing called the iPhone, there have been 6 of them.  They are cool.
  5. Hannah Montana is really Miley Cyrus. And she’s a whore.
  6. There’s this thing called the Selfie… don’t
  7. NKOTB came back… but they’re gone again.
  8. Black president. Boom.
  9. Alf is still on cable television.
  10. O.J.’s in prison.  Not for that murder.
  11. Lance Armstrong has one testicle.
  12. Men are marrying men and women are marrying women. But not the women you’re visualizing marrying other women.
  13. Blockbuster’s gone man, it’s really gone. Now from your couch you have to press “Rent Napoleon Dynamite” on your remote control.
  14. Britney Spears’ hair grew back.
  15. Cher still looks the same.
  16. We still haven’t found out what that one thing is Meatloaf won’t do for love.
  17. Dr Dre gave up rap and makes adorable headphones now.
  18. Blossom sings and calls herself Lady Gaga
  19. Sinbad still ain’t funny.
  20. Zombies are cool. Not scary…Just undead bitches most self-respecting men know how to handle.

That just about covers it.  If we forgot something, feel free to add it in the comments.  Otherwise… welcome to 2014!

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